Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
One month to the day,
that you said you’ll never change,
But as always your promises turn out to be lies.

Walking through the sewers of my broken heart,
see this place, rotten and fallen apart,
this place wasn’t supposed to be this dark.

You and me we used to talk,
in this secret place in the depths of my heart,
where the river floats out towards the dark.

A river once so blue and clear,
but now this seems to disappear,
The river now is nothing but,
acid of sour and venom so bittersweet.

This river where we used to walk,
this river that floats out to the pier,
where the paper boats disappear.

Me, I try to send this note,
float it like a paper boat.

But paper sinks,
and words are weak.

I try,
but I don’t speak.
.
Add a Comment:
 
:icongillyz:
GillyZ Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I feel like this, these days...
Reply
:iconxthumbtakx:
xthumbtakx Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010
Hi! I was just curious, would it be alright to use this in a contest I'm entering soon? I haven't decided yet on which piece I'll use, but I'd like to use this one.. The contest can be found here: [link] - just let me know if I have your permission in advance! Thanks a bunch!

And beautiful work! :dalove:
Reply
:iconxwcg:
xwcg Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2010
As far as I can read, you have to make an original entry for the contest, i.e. something you write on your own.

But if it is allowed, please go ahead. But use my deviation as the entry, and do not submit it as your own creation.
Reply
:iconxthumbtakx:
xthumbtakx Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2010
Nope, there's a part that clearly states "*You must select a piece of literature that is a deviation here on dA that is NOT your own and is not under a mature content filter." But thank you so much! I'll definitely let you know if I use it, and I was never planning on using it as my own. Don't worry, all credit goes to you! :)
Reply
:iconjazuar:
Jazuar Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2008  Student Digital Artist
awesome ending ; )
Reply
:iconxwcg:
xwcg Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2008
thanks :) :hug:
Reply
:iconblueambrosia3:
blueambrosia3 Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2008
Beautiful!
Reply
:iconxwcg:
xwcg Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2008
Thanks! :hug: :)
Reply
:icongillyz:
GillyZ Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
i'm speachless...
freaking wonderful poem...
i'm like O.o' "wow!"
seriously.
Reply
:iconxwcg:
xwcg Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
Thank so so much!! :hug:
I hope that you also liked my other poems :)
Reply
:iconfuyumitsukai:
FuyuMitsukai Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008  Student General Artist
Wow.

I wish I such a way with poems. The words seem to escape me when I try to write one.

I love the word choices. I can feel a lot of different emotions in this. Betrayal, heartache, disappointment, longing... to name a few without having to scroll back up.

One of the phrases that catches me so much, probably because of your typograph, is "this place wasn’t supposed to be this dark." This alone has several emotions by itself.

I really enjoyed this poem!
Reply
:iconxwcg:
xwcg Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
Hello! :)

Thank you very much.
I am happy to see that you actually caught the very emotions I have put into this poem when I wrote it. Many people read a poem and see it as something "nice" or "beautiful", but you have caught the real beauty: The emotions of the writer, the little piece of the authors heart that goes with it!

Once again thank you very much!

:hug:
Reply
:iconfuyumitsukai:
FuyuMitsukai Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2008  Student General Artist
You're very welcome!

A writer's heart knows a writer's emotions. :D
It's a very beautiful poem. You should be proud of it.
Reply
:iconperiana:
periana Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008
gorgeous :)
Reply
:iconxwcg:
xwcg Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
Thanks! :) :hug:
Reply
:iconxxyaoifanaticxx:
XxYAOIfanaticXx Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008
I found this poem and the worst time possible.
My friend is giving me the cold shoulder and won't tell me what I did to hurt her.
I sent this to her, and it made her speak to my friend.
This helped.
:heart: and :fav:
Reply
:iconxwcg:
xwcg Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
Hello!

I'm glad that my little poem actually did help someone out there. Always makes someone feel better to know to have helped somewhere out there in the big world a tiny bit. :)

I hope you all get along better now.

Also thank you very much!

:hug:
Reply
:iconlilsasami13:
LilSasami13 Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008
It's absolutely gorgeous.

You have quite a way with words! :D

..You see, I write this type of stuff too. Not as well, though, but the themes are similar. :3
Reply
:iconxwcg:
xwcg Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
Thank you very much :)

I have read some of your poems, and I don't think they are "not as well" as mine.
Poetry is not "good" nor "bad", poetry is a language itself. The only thing that differs, is the emotions it "does" to people when they read it. Some may relate to something better than others, and those who do will deem the poem as "good" the others as "bad".

So don't let your head down, you have a good talent, you just need to let go of your inner self a bit more ;)

:hug:
Reply
:iconlilsasami13:
LilSasami13 Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
No problem. ^.^

Aww...thank you so much for the compliment, and for the favroites as well.

Poetry is something I use simply to express myself, so I guess it doesn't really matter how it turns out, as long as it reflects me.

Thanks, dear. :D

:glomp:

You're so sweey. XD
Reply
:iconxxxblackraindropsxxx:
xXxBLacKRaINdROpSxXx Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008   Photographer
o-o I'm speechless
Reply
:iconxwcg:
xwcg Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
thank you very much :) :hug:
Reply
:iconxxxblackraindropsxxx:
xXxBLacKRaINdROpSxXx Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008   Photographer
Your welcome
Reply
:iconyaoi-hime:
Yaoi-Hime Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008
Wow, this is very cool. I really like your rhythm.
Reply
:iconxwcg:
xwcg Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
Thank you very much! :hug: :)
Reply
:iconyaoi-hime:
Yaoi-Hime Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2008
Welcome!
Reply
:icon68291:
68291 Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008
J3 too

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
Mahatma Gandhi
Reply
:iconxwcg:
xwcg Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
I can't follow you, what did you mean to say? :o
Reply
:icon68291:
68291 Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2008
If One sees a wron
Let him Change it
With his voice,
If he cannot then
Let him chang it
With his hands,
If he cannot then
Let Him hate it
(the wrong in his
Heart and beyond
That there is
No faith.
Reply
:iconlivie-lightyear:
Livie-Lightyear Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008  Student General Artist
That is beautiful...

in a sad, depressing way.
Reply
:iconxwcg:
xwcg Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
Good that the bad times are over now :)

Thanks
:hug:
Reply
:iconmanuss:
manuss Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008  Student Interface Designer
man this poem made me sad...but I love it!
Reply
:iconxwcg:
xwcg Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
Thanks! :Hug:
Reply
:iconxpsychoticxinsanityx:
xpsychoticxinsanityx Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008
amazing!
Reply
:iconxwcg:
xwcg Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
Thank you very much! :) :hug:
Reply
:iconxpsychoticxinsanityx:
xpsychoticxinsanityx Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
welcome.
Reply
:iconstfallen:
stfallen Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008   Writer
wow!
that's some strong, deep stuff
love the last three verses!
:D

check out my poetry some time (:
I post here on deviantart as well as my blog
[link]
I hope you enjoy them :D
Reply
:iconxwcg:
xwcg Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
Thank you very much! :) :hug:

I have checked out your poems, they are great! I like your play with metaphors(sp?) a lot! Makes people think about then twice :)
Reply
:iconabrcka:
Abrcka Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008   Photographer
great!!!
Reply
:iconxwcg:
xwcg Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
Thanks! :) :hug:
Reply
:icondaren552:
Daren552 Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Sehr schön! Und mit deinem Typograph hast du es noch besser gemacht.

n1!
Reply
:iconxwcg:
xwcg Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
Danke dir!! :)
Reply
:iconjiskah:
Jiskah Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
Amazing, I love it :)
Reply
:iconxwcg:
xwcg Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
Thanks!! :) :hug:
Reply
:iconkissingwithjohn:
Kissingwithjohn Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I love this poem and the citation parts from Emily Dickinson, but I think you should mention that they're not your own somehow? :o
Reply
:iconxwcg:
xwcg Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
Thanks :)

I didn't know until now that there are some parts that concur with poems from Emily Dickinson, do you have any references so I can put them into the description?
Reply
:iconriddickbg:
riddickbg Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
this is so nice, very expressive :)
Reply
:iconxwcg:
xwcg Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
Thanks :) :hug:
Reply
:iconriddickbg:
riddickbg Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
ur welcome :hug:
Reply
:iconkimmy256:
kimmy256 Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008
i love it. XD
awesome job
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconxwcg: More from xwcg


Featured in Collections

Favourite Literature by x-x-x-Violet-x-x-x


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
October 17, 2007
File Size
1,012 bytes
Thumb

Stats

Views
2,260
Favourites
93 (who?)
Comments
58
×